


Alya Césaire's Comprehensive List of Marinette Dupain-Cheng's Excuses for Being Late to School

by maddiebug



Series: A Complete List of my List-Based fics [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, Crack, F/M, Shenanigans, adrienette - Freeform, crackfic, i am the april fool, im crying, implied identity reveal, its a miracle her identity hasnt been discovered yet, its me, marinette cant make excuses, miraculous - Freeform, this is funny, tomfoolery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23425678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiebug/pseuds/maddiebug
Summary: When Marinette makes funny excuses for being late, Alya writes them down.and then she questions why Marinette had to make so many excuses in the First place.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Caline Bustier & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: A Complete List of my List-Based fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834495
Comments: 78
Kudos: 545





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yes I wrote this and then accidentally deleted it and had to start over from scratch so yes I cried.
> 
> But look guys, its another crackfic hehehe

On the second day of school, Marinette shower up late to class. No one thought anything of it. People have rough mornings.

"Sorry, my alarm didn't go off."

She handed Mrs. Bustier her tardy slip and went to sit in her seat.

....

In fact, it wasn't until the next week that Marinette was late again.

She sprinted into the classroom, and practically threw the tardy slip at Mrs. Bustier.

"Sorry, I woke up on time, but I got lost on the way to school. I ended up in the middle of some park. had to use my phone for directions."

Mrs. 

This was believable, except for the fact that Marinette literally lived across the street from school.

One street away. 

It was impossible to get lost in such a short distance.

Alya giggled and started writing in a blank notebook.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng's excuses for being late:

  * I got lost on the way to school



....

A few days later, a crying Marinette arrived at school ten minutes later than everyone else.

"I'm sorry, my Hamster died and i had to prepare an emergency funeral. Its the only hamster I've ever had."

Mrs. Bustier smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry for your loss, now if we can continue with the lesson..."

Marinette went to sit down next to Alya who was writing in her notebook.

  * My hamster died.



It was funny, because Marinette had never owned any pet in her life. The health code violations that could occur with live animals in such close proximity to the bakery was too risky.

Marinette's parents never would've allowed a hamster. And Marinette wasn't the type to go behind her parents backs.

....

Not even two days later, Marinette was once again late and crying.

"My hamster died and i-"

Mrs. Bustier raised an eyebrow. "Your hamster died? For the second time this week?"

"Yeah it turns out that actually-"

She cut her off. "Marinette, as fascinating as that sounds, I don't want to hear about your zombie hamster. Please go to your seat so that we can get on with the lesson."

"Yes. Sorry." Marinette quietly sat down.

Meanwhile, Alya was trying not to die of laughter as she wrote down the most recent excuse 

  * Hamster died (again)



Marinette never had a single hamster. Let alone two.

Which was why it was so funny. 

....

A breathless Marinette sprinted into the classroom, moments after the bell rang. "Sorry, I ignored my alarm because I thought it was Saturday."

The entire class sighed when Marinette said that one.

"Seriously? You expect me to believe that Marinette?" Alix stood up in the back of the classroom.

"I'm sorry, I'm just scattered after-"

Kim turned around and smirked. "If she says her hamster died again, you owe me five dollars."

Alix shook her head. "Its Monday. No one could get Monday and Saturday mixed up. They're like polar opposites."

"Uh actually," Nathaniel spoke up, "its Thursday."

"Never mind." Alix Sat down.

"Really, Marinette, you need to be getting on a healthy sleep schedule. You should wake up at the same time every day." Mrs. Bustier was getting very tired. "Whether or not there is school."

"Sorry." Marinette retreated to her seat, Once again late, as Alya wrote down.

  * I thought it was Saturday (on a Wednesday)



....

Marinette managed to make it to school on time the rest of that week. And most of the week after.

Unfortunately, the week after that, she did not fare so well.

Marinette, who smelled distinctly of smoke, trudged into the classroom 12 minutes late."

"Sorry, I was late." She handed Mrs. Bustier her tardy slip and went to go sit down.

"No excuse this time?" Mrs. Bustier shrugged.

"It was me being stupid, really." Marinette sighed. "I woke up early, for once, and decided to make breakfast."

"And you lost track of time?" Adrien supplied, unhelpfully.

"No. I put bacon in the oven and it caught on fire. I had to grab the fire extinguisher and put it out, turn off the oven. It was really stressful."

"I'm sorry Marinette, fires can be scary. That's a good subway into today's lesson on fire safety-"

"And then," Marinette continued, "I had to clean up all the burnt bacon grease and-"

Sigh. "Just sit down."

Alya wrote down this excuse, Marinette's most plausible so far, nothing that Marinette did smell like a fire.

  * I set the oven on fire



It felt ironic. The baker's daughter couldn't cook.

....

One day, a very exhausted looking Marinette limped into class.

"Sorry I'm late, I got hit by a car."

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Mrs. Bustier took the tardy slip. "Should I have Alya take you to the nurse?"

"I'm fine. My ego is more bruised than anything." 

With a wince, Alya wrote down the most recent development.

  * Got hit by a car



This one seemed very possible, especially with how Marinette limped for a week after.

On an unrelated note, the Ladyblog received footage of Ladybug getting smashed by a car. Even with the super-suit to protect her, it looked like it hurt.

...

Marinette's most reasonable excuse came on a day when half of the class was late.

"Sorry, I got turned into a statue by the Akuma and Ladybug only just saved everyone."

"Thank you for showing up when you could." Mrs. Bustier smiled.

Alya wrote it down, because although probable, it seemed suspicious. 

  * Turned into a statue by akuma



Marinette always ran away to hide during Akuma attacks. For her to just be out in the open, to be so reckless as to get hit, seemed highly out of character.

And Marinette showed up before any of the other victims did, so maybe she had been hiding but was ashamed to admit it?

Either way, the timing was weird.

....

Marinette walked into school late. 

She didn't run, she didn't look exhausted, she just walked normally into the classroom.

"I put a grape in the microwave-"

"Why?" Mrs. Bustier sighed.

"For science. I was bored. Anyways, it exploded."

"As they do."

"-and I had to clean up the mess, so I was late."

Alya was struggling not to laugh as she wrote down the most recent excuse.

  * Microwaved a grape and it exploded



After Marinette Sat down, she shrugged. "I wonder what would happen if I microwaved an egg."

Immediately half of the class, and Mrs. Bustier shouted. "No!"

Marinette laughed. "Okay, if you say so."

....

Alya, stopped laughing, as she was starting to get concerned. Marinette was missing class, and it she was covering up why.

It could be something serious. Dangerous.

Maybe Marinette was in danger. Alya kept writing down every excuse that Marinette made.

....

There were the excuses that Marinette repeated multiple times

  * My grandma died



When Marinette declared this one, Mrs. Bustier sighed.

"What is this, your fifth dead grandma this month? That must be some sort of record." She shrugged. "Honestly, I was skeptical at the second, but this has been a very hard time for your family.")

Marinette didn't have response to that one.

  * My dog ate my homework



When Marinette said this and proceeded to immediately turn in her homework the whole class stared at her.

"Marinette," the teacher said softly, "if your dog are your homework, what is that?"

"Oh," Marinette froze. "Its the new copy I printed. Yeah. I re did the assignment after my dog ate it. Ahhah"

"Mari," Alya reminded her. "You don't have a dog."

"Oh. Right, yeah."

  * My alarm didn't go off



Mrs. Bustier actually pulled Marinette aside after the fourth or fifth time Marinette used this one.

"I know it can be hard to wake up sometimes, but we have to do it."

"Sorry." Marinette frowned. "I haven't been able to really sleep since Sandboy."

Caline's face softened. "Nightmares can be scary. We just have to remember that They aren't real."

"I'm just exhausted. I need a nap." Marinette yawned.

"What you need is a working alarm and a reasonable sleep cycle."

"I wish." Marinette sighed. "Unfortunately, Paris needs me."

"I'm not going to pretend to know what that means. Marinette, you're 15, not a superhero."

"Marinette crossed her arms. "I could be Ladybug, you'd never know."

"I think I'd know."

"You wouldn't."

Mrs. Bustier sighed. "Just get some rest this weekend."

"I'll try."

Somehow, there were three Akuma that weekend, so no one in Paris got any sleep, and when Marinette did show up for class on Monday, (on time for once), she sat down in her seat and immediately fell asleep.

...

Some of the excuses that Marinette said could've made sense, except for the fact that things didn't add up.

  * The power went out



This one made sense, except, Alya had stopped at the bakery to make sure that Marinette was awake, and they definitely had power. Also, apparently she had already left for school. 

Which was weird because when Alya got to school, Marinette wasn't there get.

  * My parents asked me to help in the bakery and I lost track of time



This one was plausible, but Marinette's parents never asked her to help bake in the mornings, except on weekends. They cared about school way too much to do that to Marinette.

  * My car wouldn't start



Honestly, Alya almost believed this one for a moment, before she realized that Marinette was 14 and couldn't drive.

And lived across the street, well within walking distance.

And didn't own a car.

....

There were the excuses that didn't make any sense.

  * My little sister was crying



Marinette was an only child. She babysat sometimes, but she literally had zero brothers or sisters. Which was weird, because about 5% of her excuses involved imaginary siblings.

  * I tried to cut my hair, but it kept getting shorter and it wasn't even and I panicked



This one didn't work because Marinette's hair was the same length as it always had been. 

  * I lost my socks



It made absolutely zero sense. Marinette had more than one pair of socks. Also, socks weren't essential for school. 

And Marinette was over an hour late that day. 

If it took her over an hour to find socks, she seriously needed to re-organize her room.

  * Chat Noir wanted to have a serious talk about relationships and I couldn't just say "no."



Alya didn't even know where to start in this one. Chat Noir wouldn't go around just talking about his love life with random civilians. It didn't make sense.

And Marinette didn't even have any relationship experience. Or advice to offer. 

If the shocked look on Adrien's face after Marinette said this excuse was anything to go by, it was completely unbelievable.

....

Marinette didn't even notice the list until after the excuse about Chat Noir. 

She walked to her desk a little quicker than usual, and sighed. "Can I see your notes, Alya?"

"Yeah." Alya passed the wrong notebook over to Marinette.

"Wait. This isn't literature." She started flipping through it, becoming more and more pale. "Alya why do you have this?"

"I just wrote down every funny excuse you made for being late. No harm."

"Yes harm." Marinette's hands started shaking.

"That didn't make sense." 

"This could get in the wrong hands."

"Relax. Its no big deal."

"It could be." Marinette laughed hysterically. "Did I really say that my grandma died 8 times this semester?"

"No." Alya took the notebook back.

"So I'm not completely crazy-"

"You've used that excuse nine times."

Marinette hit her head on the desk. "I'm so stupid."

"Marinette, are you hiding something?"

"Only that I'm not a morning person." 

"You're not hiding that very well." Alya laughed. "If you have no secrets, you have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah. Right." Marinette pulled out her own notebook and started actually taking notes, effectively ending the conversation.

....

Nothing could've prepared Alya for the next excuse that came out of Marinette's mouth. 

It was maybe a week after the "relationship talks with Chat Noir," and honestly, Alya was missing the chaotic excuses of Marinette. 

Even if they weren't true, they were fun to listen to. 

A rather disheveled, late Marinette sat down in her seat, only to turn and whisper to Alya, "I was busy making out with Adrien and lost track of time."

Alya, who knew that Marinette couldn't so much as hold hands with Adrien without spontaneously combusting, wrote it down for the official list.

  * Making out with Adrien Agreste



Adrien was supposed to be at a photo shoot, so that one was impossible.

At least, Alya thought it was impossible until a messy looking Adrien Agreste walked through the door and winked at Alya. "She's telling the truth."

"No way." Nino gasped.

"Way." Adrien smiled. "Mari-Bug-inette is the most amazing kisser I know."

"Flatterer." Marinette was blushing. "But seriously, we should be quiet and focus on class."

Adrien smirked. "That's not what you were saying five minutes ago."

Nino whistled.

It took a minute for Alya to process everything, the lipstick smeared on both of their lips and cheeks, the way Adrien's hair was pushed back, the giddy smiles they couldn't stop giving each other and the way Adrien's shirt was buttoned wrong.

Once she saw everything, one thing became clear. 

The ship Adrienette had set sail. 

And Alya would be nothing but supportive.

Although, it was rather suspicious how close they had gotten, practically overnight. 

Especially when Paris had been on Akuma Lockdown for the whole weekend. They wouldn't have had a chance to get together. Even Alya couldn't visit Nino.

The only people that could hang out were Ladybug and Chat Noir, who were busy saving the day. 

The day before, Marinette struggled to have a conversation with Adrien. Now she was supposedly kissing him?

Alya was happy for her friends, but they were definitely hiding something.

And it was up to her to find out what.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it said 1/1 but I liked this so much that I had to continue umm it's not as good as the First chapter, but I hope you like it.

Even after Marinette and Adrien started dating, the excuses continued. 

Sometimes, but not always, they would involve Adrien as well.

They ran through the door holding hands. "Sorry we were so late, we got caught in the rain." 

Mrs. Bustier took the tardy slips. "And neither of you had an umbrella?"

"Nope." Marinette smiled.

Mrs. Bustier raised an eyebrow, "But you're both dry?"

Adrien paled. "I mean I guess-"

"And it's not raining?"

"Ladybug fixed it!" Marinette blurted out before running to her seat, Adrien following close behind.

  * Caught in rain, Saved by Ladybug



It was starting to get ridiculous.

....

"Actually, France decided to do daylight savings, and everyone else is an hour early." 

Mrs. Bustier didn't have a response to that one, she just shook her head and pointed to Marinette's seat, before continuing with the lesson. 

Adrien showed up a few minutes later, blaming it on a photo shoot.

It took Alya a minute to look up what daylight savings was, before frowning.

In what world was that even a possible explanation. Daylight savings didn't even make sense.

  * We switched to Daylight Savings and everyone else is early



"Girl, you've got to get better at making excuses." Alya told Marinette once she sat down.

"But I-"

"Or just tell me the truth."

Marinette sighed. "I wish I could. But I can't."

"Adrien knows."

"That's," Marinette blushed, "that's different."

"I'm your best friend."

"Yeah, but he's my boyfriend." 

Ouch. That stung.

"But I'm your best-"

"I'm tired Alya. I'll tell you someday, just not today."

....

One day, Adrien came up with the excuse.

You could tell it was Adrien's excuse because he blamed everything on modelling. 

"We were in the shower." 

Or _that._

Mrs. Bustier froze. "You- together?"

"Yep." Adrien nodded. "And that's why we're late."

The entire class started giggling.

Marinette glared. "Not like that!"

Adrien tilted his head. "Like what?"

"You know," Marinette made some obscene gestures.

Adrien got pale. "Oh my God. no. My father would kill me. I didn't mean that at all."

"Well it sounded like you did." Marinette rolled her eyes.

"But I didn't-"

"Too late."

"But."

"For the record." Marinette stated, "all we've done is kiss."

Adrien sat in his seat, face red, not saying anything.

Alya still wrote it down. Mostly, because it would be funny to tease them about later.

  * Showering with Adrien.



Once Marinette got to her seat, she sighed. "Did you have to write that one down?"

"Marinette," Alya smirked. "Its about journalistic integrity, until I know why you're gone, I'm writing everything down."

....

"What if I said I was Ladybug?" Marinette walked through the door.

"Sit down." Mrs. Bustier pointed to Marinette's seat.

"And I'm Chat Noir!" Adrien piped up.

Sigh. "Just sit down."

Marinette turned to her boyfriend. "I told you they wouldn't believe it."

"That's why its the perfect cover."

  * I am actually... Ladybug.



Marinette groaned. "Don't tell me you wrote that down."

"Journalistic integrity."

....

When Ladybug decided to appoint Rena Rouge as a full time hero, Alya was ecstatic.

Even if it meant she missed out on hearing Marinette's excuses.

Somehow, when crimefighting, Marinette managed to make it to school before Alya, every time. 

For a couple days, Nino wrote down Marinette's excuses, and Alya copied them down, but it wasn't the same.

Writing down:

  * A tree fell over and smashed my house



Just wasn't the same as hearing Marinette try to justify it.

....

And then Ladybug was acting fishy. 

She always wanted Alya to help, to stay behind. 

At first, it was reasonable, but Ladybug's excuses got worse and worse.

"I'm about to transform back, Rena, can you escort the victim home?"

"Yeah of course." Rena would do anything for Ladybug, but she hadn't even used her Lucky Charm. 

Chat Noir, who was actually at risk of detransforming had already left. 

....

Then next time it was even worse.

"Sorry, Rena, I have a big test I need to take, and I can't be late, can you talk to the press?"

"No problem!" Rena smiled back. 

Ladybug was slipping up. She shouldn't reveal stuff about herself.

It wasn't until Rena Rouge had assured the public that everything would be fine that she remembered.

 _She_ also had a test today. 

In Literature.

And she _was_ going to be late, unlike a certain Ladybug.

Weird coincidence.

It wasn't like Ladybug was in her class or anything.

Not like there was anyone she knew that was notoriously tardy and had a reputation for making horrible excuses, right?

Wait a minute...

By the time Alya got to school, Marinette was already there, and had been since the beginning of the test.

....

Alya knew something was up.

Ladybug had been dodging questions, and Marinette, as usual was acting oblivious.

She wouldn't admit why she was always late, even if Alya was pretty sure that she knew why. 

After all, if Marinette was Chat Noir, it made perfect sense why she was always late.

She was fighting akuma with Adrien (Ladybug). 

That's why Marinette called in sick to school whenever Chat Noir and Ladybug had press conferences. 

And the amount of photo shoots that Adrien claimed to have would have put him over the legal limit of hours worked by a minor...

Even if they were already over that limit by being superheroes.

Alya confronted Marinette about it and she laughed.

Laughed.

"I'm not Chat Noir, I promise." Marinette giggled. "We've been in the same place at the same time. Remember Evillustrator?"

"Oh. Right, yeah." Alya frowned. "I guess you aren't Chat Noir." 

"Nope. Any other guesses?"

"I mean, you are always missing during akuma attacks."

"Yes, and?" 

"You have really good control over your emotions."

"I do? Thanks." Marinette smiled.

Alya gasped. "and you've never been akumatized!"

"Okay? What are you implying."

Alya pointed a shaky finger. "Maybe you're Hawkmoth!"

Marinette passed out.

Adrien, who was sitting in the row in front burst out laughing and could not stop for several minutes.

The entire class stared at him, as he was gasping for air, laughing his ass off. 

After he regained his ability to speak. Adrien turned around and chuckled. "Alya, that's about as far from the truth as you could be."

"Hmmm." Alya shrugged. "I guess she just is really bad at waking up."

Adrien rolled his eyes. "You could say that."


	3. Chapter 3

Alya knew something was up with Marinette, but she had no idea what, as Marinette's excuses continued to be bad. 

  * I had an allergic reaction to almonds



Marinette ate macarons, which are made with almond flour, almost every day.

  * I farted



That wasn't a valid excuse to be late to school... unless there was something more.

  * Lila slapped me



Honestly, between the smug look on Lila's face, and the red mark on Marinette's cheek, there was a strong possibility of that one being real.

  * Adrien broke up with me



Except, they were literally holding hands when Mari said this.

.... 

And Ladybug's excuses weren't much better.

  * I have to go make out with Adrien Agreste



Well, Adrien was dating Marinette, so that wouldn't happen.

  * My supersuit is giving me a wedgie



They were magical suits. It was impossible to get a wedgie.

....

Finally, the clues came together, one day when Ladybug was rushing to get away. 

"Rena. I need you to comfort the victim."

"No."

"No?" Ladybug put her hands on her hips. "Why not?"

"Because, I have a calc test and I can't be late."

Ladybug paled. "Well, i- uh."

"Got anything to say? I've been late a lot because of this."

"So have i!"

"I'm sure you're better at making excuses than I am." Alya crossed her arms.

Chat Noir snorted. "You'd be surprised."

"I have to take a test. I can't do it." 

Chat nodded. "I also have to take a test."

"Well," Ladybug took a deep breath and started crying, "I've been really stressed-"

Chat Noir facepalmed. "Don't say it."

"-ever since my hamster died."

Alya dropped her flute. "Marinette?"

"Really?" Ladybug raised an eyebrow. "Now you get it?"

"Oh my god." Rena shook her head. "I accused Ladybug of being Hawkmoth."

Ladybug frowned. "That's what you're taking away from this?"

Chat Noir giggled. "Hehehe I forgot about that."

"Shut up."

"I can't believe my best friend is Ladybug."

"Yep." Ladybug nodded. "If it helps, Nino's best friend is Chat Noir."

"Adrien?"

"No, Adrien is actually Hawkmoth." Chat winked.

"Ahah!" Alya laughed, "I knew it."

"But-"

"Just roll with it." Chat whispered, "It'll be funny."

There was a moment of silence.

Then a shriek.

Rena Rouge pointed a finger. "Ladybug is dating Hawkmoth!!!"

Chat Noir laughed.

Ladybug rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm pretty sure that now you have to tell her." 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I deleted a whole fic. I meant to save it but I closed the tab and it was a tragedy.  
> Idk. I think I got most of the excuses rewritten, but I know there are a few that I missed. 
> 
> Also I miss school.
> 
> Let me know if there are any major typos or errors.
> 
> Anyways, I thought this was such a fun idea that I wrote it twice.  
> Its me. I am the April fool.  
> Let me know what you thought.


End file.
